Recently, I discovered a leading psychologist named Dr. Amanda Hanson who regularly posts viral videos (seen by 5M people and garnering 234k likes), as her content popped up in my Explore feed while browsing on social media one day. In the video linked above, she talked about why society likes women to be insecure stating “Have you seen a woman who knows her worth? She is very inconvenient. She has high standards. She doesn’t buy things to fix herself. And she won’t let you project your traumas onto her, because she doesn’t fear being alone.”

Her message sparked an ember within my soul, as I’m passionate about educating and empowering women, and because I resonate with the core messaging in that video, and her content, in general. As women, we often face the pressure to be “perfect”, to live up to everyone’s expectations of how we should look, dress, speak, etc., and to continually give our time and energy to everyone, while sacrificing our own needs. Fortunately, that centuries-old paradigm is shifting rapidly, as women are starting to speak up more, band together, and redefine what it means to be a modern-day woman, in all our strength, grace, and glory.

That said, I was inspired to reach out to Dr. Hanson to learn more about her thoughts on how women can learn to practice self-love to boost self-worth, increase confidence, and feel more fulfilled in their lives and careers.

Dr. Amanda Hanson (known as The Midlife Muse by her nearly 500k followers on Instagram) is a doctor of psychology, speaker, and author renowned for her transformative work in redefining the paradigm of womanhood. In over 24 years of her career, she has reached millions of women across the globe and has had several empowering and transformative videos go viral on TikTok and Instagram.

She’s spoken at the “Unstoppable Woman Summit” hosted by Tony Robbins and has been featured in the New York Post, Daily Mail, Business Insider, and other major media. She sees female psychology and physiology as a harmonious system where the wellness of one cannot be considered without the other. She believes that due to the various physical and emotional disruptors in modern society, that harmonious system easily gets out of balance, but society doesn’t encourage women to look at the cause, offering us another bandaid solution instead.

Here’s what we discussed:

CLP: Many women struggle with the constant pressure to meet society’s standards of beauty and success. How can women break free from these expectations and embrace their unique qualities and strengths, while becoming the best version of their authentic selves?

AH: “Pay attention to where you put your focus. Do a digital clean-up. We must understand everything we consume, affects our lives. Every show you watch, every social media account you follow, every toxic beauty ad you read. If you want to be free of these expectations then you need to create a life free of these lies.

Women can also break free from these expectations when they surround themselves with women who are doing the same. Being in proximity to women who live their lives based on values that are rooted in the soul is the best way to learn how to become freer. Every time I desired change in my life, I got myself next to women who were living the way I desired to live.

Decide how you want to live your life. Constantly chasing approval and validation from the outside world or living a life grounded in self-approval and self-validation.

It’s also important to understand that products must create a campaign of fear to sell to you. Become a woman who no longer falls for such insulting marketing.”

CLP: Self-doubt can be crippling, often leading to a lack of confidence and holding women back from pursuing their dreams. What are some effective techniques to silence the inner critic and cultivate high self-esteem?

AH: “To silence the inner critic you have to build a foundation of self-love, but to build that you must first become intimate with yourself. We cannot love something we do not know. We cannot love something we are always hiding. Building self-intimacy is a profound journey inward. Women are raised to find love rather than be loved, to share intimacy rather than cultivate it within first. See yourself as the most fascinating, unique, incredible gift, and from that place really get to know who you are. You cannot doubt something that you know, love, and trust, so once you build self-love and self-trust you will be unstoppable in the pursuit of your dreams.”

CLP: You had a video go viral on Instagram (garnering over 2M views and 116k likes) about why society “wants women to be insecure”. Can you expound upon this, and how we, as women, can discover ways to become confident? In your experience, what role do societal constructs and cultural norms play in shaping women’s perceptions of themselves, and how can they navigate these influences to foster a healthier self-image? 

AH: “Yes this video was extremely relatable for women across the globe. I believe it’s because we are all tired of the never-ending messaging about looking younger, thinner, prettier, tighter. Women are exhausted by these unrealistic standards and also understand it’s dehumanizing. I have never met a woman who has not felt the burden of societal constructs and cultural norms. I have also never met a woman who became fully liberated while also conforming. You cannot build a healthier self-image while also absorbing endless toxic messages. You have to disentangle yourself from the sickness of the messaging if you want to have a healthy self-image.”

CLP: Negative self-talk is a common barrier to self-love and acceptance. How can women reframe their internal dialogue to foster kindness and compassion towards themselves?

AH: “Start in the mirror every single morning. Before you even turn your phone on. Meet yourself. Look into your own eyes and practice standing there through the lens of self-honor and reverence for what is. Women rarely go to the mirror to be, but rather to critique and judge. This practice, over the course of ninety days will change your nervous system and will be a foundation of self-love so profound, you will move differently in the world. This is my nonnegotiable three-minute practice every single morning.”

CLP: Comparison has become rampant in the age of social media, often leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. How can women cultivate a mindset of self-worth?

AH: “Self-worth is an inside job, so it cannot be built looking outside of yourself. Learn to celebrate and value all of your unique talents and gifts. Root into the reality that every moment wasted in comparison is a moment you could have been living your one and only precious life.”

For more inspiring ideas that will help you elevate your life and become your best self, check out the Personal Growth section on Inspirations & Celebrations.

The post Empowering Advice for Women by a Leading Psychologist & Viral Video Creator on Self-Love and Self-Worth appeared first on Inspirations and Celebrations.

Without knowing much about her background then (although I later learned she’s a highly accomplished leader, best-selling author, and TEDx speaker), I was quickly entranced by her words of wisdom. In the video, she spoke about the importance of being mindful about who you surround yourself with, as it influences your entire life – from your mindset and outlook to your beliefs, behaviors, and habits. I instantly resonated with everything she was saying, so naturally, I felt compelled to reach out to her to learn more.

Because I love discovering (and of course, sharing) motivational advice from leaders in various fields (especially those who lead with authenticity and a desire to make positive changes in people’s lives), today’s Q&A dives into the motivating mind of Laura Gassner Otting. Read on to learn her inspiring ideas and practical strategies to become limitless, create a fulfilling life and career path, and live your best life.

About Laura Gassner Otting

Laura’s secret superpower is seeing your greatness and reflecting it back on you, so that you can get “unstuck” — and achieve extraordinary results. Her entrepreneurial edge defines her notable 30-year resume.

Laura is the Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author of three books, Wonderhell, Limitless, and Mission-Driven, as well as a frequent contributor to Good Morning America, The Today Show, Harvard Business Review, and Oprah Daily. She previously served as a Presidential Appointee in Bill Clinton’s White House, helping shape AmeriCorps. During her career, she also left a leadership role as the youngest Vice President at a nationally respected search firm when she realized that her boss’s definition of success didn’t align with hers and, instead, founded and ran one of the fastest-growing search firms in the country, partnering with the full gamut of mission-driven executives, from start-up dreamers to scaling social entrepreneurs to global philanthropists.

From coaching executives and leading businesses to writing top-ranking books (while raising a family with her husband), her passion and drive led to her becoming a modern-day Wonder Woman.

CLP: Can you share a pivotal moment in your journey where you had to overcome self-doubt or fear, and how did you navigate through it to achieve your goals?

LGO: “I dropped out of law school after just one semester because I knew in my gut that it was the wrong path. I didn’t know what the right path was, but I felt the organ failure rejection that comes along with the miserable pursuit of someone else’s goals. And, that’s usually how our first pivotal “brave” moment goes: we have no choice but to jump. It’s only after that we realize that we survived the “worst thing ever” that we recognize that we can do bigger and scarier things. All to say, I didn’t overcome self-doubt or fear, I just, through a series of failures and recoveries, fumbled my way forward to build the competence that led to greater confidence.”

CLP: Your work focuses on helping people find their “limitless possibility.” What advice do you have for those who feel stuck or limited in their current circumstances, but yearn for something greater?

LGO: “Very often we feel stuck not because we aren’t good enough to become greater but because we are chasing someone else’s goals. The fact of the matter is that you can’t be insatiably hungry for someone else’s goals. So, the first piece of advice I give people who feel stuck or limited is to think about their goals and who gave them this particular definition of success, and whether or not it’s something that is really, truly interesting enough to them to bring out their best.”

CLP: Many readers aspire to achieve success and fulfillment in both their personal and professional lives. How do you maintain balance and prioritize what truly matters amidst a busy and demanding schedule?

LGO: “The best and hardest piece of advice I ever got was: “You’re just not that important.” At the time I got it, I was busy building my business, my family, and my community, and I sure felt important to all three. I was running myself ragged, and wasn’t showing up anywhere as my best. So this advice was to figure out where I absolutely truly needed to be, and double down there. The highest and best use of your time is to do what only you can do. You’re just not that important, except where you are.

There are also four questions I get when trying to figure out whether or not to say yes to something that is going to be a strain on my time or energy.”

CLP: Your book, “Limitless: How to Ignore Everybody, Carve Your Own Path, and Live Your Best Life,” has resonated with countless individuals seeking purpose and direction. Could you share a practical strategy or mindset shift that readers can implement today to start living more intentionally?

LGO: “If we are to stop mindlessly following everyone else’s definition of success, and start living on our own, the very first step is to become super intentional about whose opinions count. We need to remember that most people see to our hopes and dreams through the lens of their own fear, anxiety, jealousy, or just plain old insecurity. And, yet, we give all of their opinions the same volume in our brains. So, the most important mindset shift we can make is to stop giving votes in our lives to people who shouldn’t even have voices.”

CLP: In a world where comparison and societal expectations often cloud our vision, how do you encourage individuals to stay true to themselves and pursue their unique passions, regardless of external pressures or opinions?

LGO: “There will always be people whose opinions you absorb, whether you want them or not as you try to “Keep Up with the Joneses.” You’ll see them on social media, these perfect people with their perfect lives, and you’ll feel badly about yourself. But, let’s remember that those perfect lives are curated highlight reels, not reality. And, if you judge your bloopers by everyone else’s highlight reel, you can’t help but feel bad about yourself… even if you don’t want what their highlight reel shows. It’s easy to say, “take a social media vacation” but frankly, I’ve never been able to do that. So, I unfollow the Joneses. Highlight the people you love, the people who inspire you, the people who make you better; comment on their stories, love their posts, interact more with the good and ignore the bad and your feed will change.

This works not just to make your life less cloudy, but to make it crystal clear as well. Did you know that people with overweight friends are 57% more likely to become overweight themselves, even if those friends live on the other side of the country? Your emotional connection, not your physical proximity, is the key factor. Studies show that the behavior of your closest intimates—wherever they are, even if you only interact with them through the social media app on your phone—influences the way you behave. So whether it is slacking on your diet or exercise plan, or deciding an unfulfilling career path, personal relationship, or hobby, what they do becomes what you do. What they think becomes what you think. What they normalize becomes what you normalize. Choose wisely, my friends! Your future is in your hands (literally).”

For more inspiring ideas that will help you elevate your life and become your best self, check out the Personal Growth section on Inspirations & Celebrations.

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As we move into the New Year, many of us find ourselves thinking about (and taking action on) the ways that we want to create positive changes in our lives. From getting into better shape to improving our finances, the New Year is often the most common time that we (as a society) choose to set new intentions, create new goals, and even commit to resolutions for our lives.

But, as studies have shown, most people give up on their New Year’s Resolutions after 4-6 weeks and fall back into old habits. However, that doesn’t have to be the case, and here’s why.

When we focus on consistently making 1% improvements in various aspects of our lives, at the end of the year, we’ll find ourselves in a different position than last year. The reason is that (as the book Atomic Habits by James Clear) points out, minor changes in our daily habits have a greater impact on the long term than we might assume. This has a lot to do with the way our brains are wired (or for that matter, get rewired).

To help you reprogram your brain to elevate your life by using the power of neuropsychology, here are 10 easy steps (and helpful books) that will make it easier to effectively create positive changes in your life, daily habits, and way of thinking.

Intention Setting Over Resolutions:

Ditch the traditional New Year’s resolutions and embrace intention setting. Neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf, in her book Switch On Your Brain, explains how our thoughts shape our reality. By setting positive intentions, we direct our neural pathways toward constructive outcomes. Cultivate a growth mindset by focusing on what you want to achieve rather than what you want to avoid.

Daily Neural Stimulation:

In The Brain that Changes Itself by Norman Doidge, the concept of neuroplasticity is explored—our brains’ ability to adapt and rewire. Incorporate daily activities that stimulate your mind, such as taking a different route to work. This simple change creates new neural connections, fostering adaptability and creativity.

Mindful Morning Rituals:

Drawing insights from The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod, kickstart your day with a mindful routine. Engage in activities like meditation, gratitude journaling, or deep breathing exercises. These practices optimize your brain’s functioning, enhancing focus and emotional well-being throughout the day. The truth is – how you start your morning truly sets the tone for the rest of your day. By focusing on activities that feel good and help you get centered, you’ll feel more energized, have greater mental clarity, and have a sense of internal balance that enables you to more successfully handle whatever the day brings.

Neuroscience of Habit Formation:

Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit delves into how habits shape our lives. Identify habits that no longer serve you and replace them with positive alternatives. By understanding the neural loops that drive habits, you gain control over your actions, fostering personal growth.

Learning Something New Each Day:

Embrace a lifelong learning mindset. In Make It Stick, authors Peter C. Brown, Henry L. Roediger III, and Mark A. McDaniel explore effective learning techniques. Challenge yourself to acquire a new skill or knowledge daily. This not only enriches your life but also stimulates neural growth and cognitive flexibility. Remember – the key to creating a new habit is to link the habit with a positive reward, and to focus on doing it consistently.

Gratitude Rewires the Brain:

Neuroscientist Rick Hanson, in Hardwiring Happiness, emphasizes the transformative power of gratitude. Regularly express gratitude for the positive aspects of your life. This practice rewires your brain to focus on the good, fostering resilience and emotional well-being. On the subject of happiness, once you learn the “happiness hacks” (which are easy, effective ways to naturally stimulate production of the four happiness hormones – Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins), you’ll realize that the power to be happy each day truly is in your hands.

Visualization Techniques:

Tap into the science of visualization outlined in Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. Picture your desired future in vivid detail. This process activates the brain’s reticular activating system, aligning your focus with opportunities that lead to your envisioned reality. The power of visualization is so effective that my college psychology professor (who happened to also be the US Olympic Ski Jump Team’s Sports Psychologist) explained that he would regularly work with the athletes to help them utilize visualization techniques to train their bodies and subconscious minds before any competition. This essentially acts like a dress rehearsal for the mind, by preparing them to succeed, before actually taking physical action.

Digital Detox for Cognitive Renewal:

Drawing from the book The Shallows by Nicholas Carr, recognize the impact of constant digital exposure on your brain. Incorporate regular digital detoxes to rejuvenate cognitive function. Engage in activities that encourage in-person connections and deep thinking, fostering a healthier mental environment. To learn reasons why this process will make you happier, healthier, and more fulfilled, check out this digital detox guide on I&C.

Mindful Eating for Brain Health:

Neuroscientist Lisa Mosconi, in the book Brain Food, explores the link between nutrition and cognitive function. Adopt mindful eating practices (especially those that include healthy proteins and fats, and are high in antioxidants), focusing on nourishing your brain with nutrient-rich foods. A well-balanced diet directly influences cognitive abilities, contributing to a more vibrant and focused life. You’ll not only feel renewed energy and vitality, in addition to looking healthier and more beautiful (as it boosts your skin and hair health too), but you’ll also have more focus, clarity, and mental acumen.

Social Connection and Emotional Resilience:

In the book Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman explores the neuroscience of social interactions. Cultivate meaningful connections with others, as social bonds play a crucial role in emotional resilience. Engage in activities that strengthen your social network, promoting overall well-being.

Embarking on a neuroscience-inspired journey to reprogram your life requires commitment and consistency. By incorporating these science-backed practices into your daily routine, you’ll not only witness positive changes in your mindset but also experience a transformative shift in your overall well-being. Embrace the power of neuroplasticity and set the stage for a New Year filled with purpose, growth, and fulfillment.

For more inspiring ideas that will help you elevate your life and become your best self, check out the Personal Growth section on Inspirations & Celebrations.

[Disclosure: Affiliate links included. Inspirations & Celebrations partners with several affiliate programs, meaning that this author may earn a commission from purchases/clicks by those who visit this site at no additional cost to you. All opinions are my own.]

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